![]() ![]() It is a lot easier than you may think to get help. Please see our guide to seeking grief support. If you have just read over this and thought this sounds like you, you may be wondering what to do next. Some of these factors include things like experiencing an unexpected or violent loss, a loved one dying by suicide, a lack of support system, or past traumatic losses. It just means you are a little more likely. Having experienced one of these risk factors by no means is an indicator that you will experience complicated grief. There are certain factors that could put you at greater risk of having complicated grief. They suggest that three or more of these symptoms persisting beyond 6 months may be an indicator of complicated grief and a reason to consider professional support. Strong urges to see, touch, hear or smell things to feel close to the person who died.Avoiding people, places, or things that are reminders of the loss.Feeling very emotionally or physically activated when confronted with reminders of the loss.A feeling of constant fear and anxiety.Finding it hard to care about or to trust other people.Feeling shocked, stunned, dazed or emotionally numb.Strong feelings of disbelief about the death or finding it very difficult to accept the death.Thinking so much about the person who died that it interferes with doing things or with relationships with other people.Feeling like life is empty or meaningless without the person who died.Strong feelings of anger or bitterness related to the death.Feeling intensely lonely, even when other people are around.Strong feelings of yearning or longing for the person who died.It may be helpful to consider the signs of complicated grief outlined by Columbia University researchers: Signs of CG: At the Columbia Center for Complicated Grief, they are conducting extensive research around complicated grief. That said, if it has been more than a few months and your symptoms seem the same or more severe than immediately following the loss, this could be a reason to consider professional help. So if you are thinking about grief counseling, why not give it a go? It is an opportunity to spend time on yourself, learn some things about yourself, and get out of the house. My first thought about this: we could all use a little bit of therapy! There really isn't a threshold one has to hit in order for therapy to be beneficial. So the question becomes, how can you figure out if you (or your friend or family member) may be in need of professional grief support? Because the reality is that in the early days after a loss, it is normal to have the symptoms described above. Is this normal grief or complicated grief? Sometimes it feels like a coin toss, even to us professionals. ![]() And it's hard to imagine a future in which things feel any better. You are irrationally angry or crying every day. Hypothetical Case Study: You feel like total crap. Grief that becomes debilitating and all-consuming may be considered complicated grief or persistent complex bereavement disorder, which we've described in the section below. Their grief intensity remains high, they feel no improvement as the months tick by, and they aren't sure how else to cope. I'd be remiss not to acknowledge that now and again, people find themselves at an impasse in their grief. How does anyone ever know when their experience does reflect something that requires more professional support? But, on the other hand, you may find such a vast expanse of grey areas confusing. On the one hand, you may find comfort knowing that there's a better than good chance what you are experiencing is not a sign of a more significant problem. You can look at the fact that a wide range of change, distress, and emotion is "expected," "typical," or "normal" in life after loss in several ways. Confusing! As one of our favorite authors, Viktor Frankl, wrote, " An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior." Though this is purely anecdotal, I think most people who experience a significant loss go through moments of feeling like they're losing it. After spending most of your life feeling somewhat "normal," the terrifying and unknown territory of grief can feel very abnormal. In grief, it's normal to feel not normal. Types of Grief, Is this Normal?, Prolonged Grief Disorder ![]()
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